“Senioritis: a supposed affliction of students in their final year of high school or college, characterized by a decline in motivation or performance.”

Well thanks, Google, that’s basically me, except I’m a junior.

Junior year is the year that colleges look at the most and deem the most important. I’m perfectly aware of that and yet I can’t seem to take things seriously or care about my grades. I’m only worried about passing. Even worse is that round one of finals are over and I’m still not taking things serious.

I’m more worried about not being stressed to the max and having fun as a teenager than what my parents think I should be worried about. You’re only 17 once, right?

I find myself struggling to finish this year but not wanting to graduate early because I want to go to college. Therefore, AP classes are right for me to save money, so I’m going to stress and take two AP tests on one day so I can have a chance at college credit. Everything is just so stressful.

I want to be able to hang out with friends and not have to say “no” because I have to study for a class. (A class I don’t care about but am taking to raise my GPA.)

But on the other hand, I want to go to college. So how do I turn my high school transcript around to make the perfect college application? Do I have to shove hours and hours of community service in and hours on scholarship applications so I’m not in debt to my chin the rest of my life?

Senioritis started sophomore year for me. The urge to have straight A’s went out the window the first day of AP US History. I got the mindset that it was too hard and gave up. I haven’t been able to recover from that and I’m not quite sure when or if I ever will.

After twelve years of school, I am tired of the Monday through Friday 7:40 to 2:35, the daily routine that I’m scared of repeating when I am older. Every day since the first day of high school, it’s been school, work, homework, sleep, and repeat.

I want to be able to set my own schedule and do what I want and to do that after high school I’m going to have to endure four more years of school for a degree whether I like it or not.

In a little over 100 school days, I’ll be a senior. And let me tell you, I am nowhere near ready for it. I’m excited for the memories to be made senior year, but that’s it.

After this summer I’ll have 180 school days to figure my life out. Thirteen years of school finished and all I’ll get is a folder with a piece of paper in it. If only that paper could be a blue print of the rest of my life. A step-by-step guide to what college I go to and where I live, what jobs I apply for, and how to be successful in all the things that high school didn’t teach me.

For now, I’ll just succumb to my self-diagnosed case of senioritis and hope my procrastination subsides.