I’m in my first year of high school, each day being exposed to so many new things. The most talked about thing now is sex. Who’s messing with who? Who found out they were pregnant? When everyone’s talking about their sex lives, I ask questions, why? Because I’m a virgin.

Sometimes people don’t believe me when they ask me if I’m a virgin. Some might say your appearance and who you hang out with depends on that. It’s normal for teenagers to have sex but I’m just not ready. Maybe I’m immature or “lame” but I take giving my goodies away very seriously.

I’ve heard that when a girl loses her virginity to a guy she becomes attached to him. She gives him a part of herself that she’ll never give back. She starts to become clingy in a way. I’m not ready to give someone that type of control over me. I’ve also heard that it hurts and I am no friend to pain.

What if I lose to my virginity to a boy “I think” I’m in love with and he leaves after he told me he wouldn’t? There’s no reason for him to stay, he has nothing to fight for anymore and I have a phobia of being neglected. I may even come across a boy who I really like, but wants to do things I’m not ready for. I might lose a lot of relationships because I’m not ready to have sex.

You could say I’m a little childish when it comes to the sex talk. “If you’re not comfortable enough to talk about it, then you shouldn’t be doing it,” is what I’ve heard from family members time and time again. I come from a Christian home who believes sex before marriage is wrong. I can’t promise I’ll wait until marriage, but it’s not something I’m comfortable with yet.

There isn’t anything wrong with having sex, but I think your first time should be with someone special and who you completely trust and love. There isn’t a certain age for sex, it’s an emotional thing, and it’s okay that I’m not there yet. I like being in the select few that haven’t been with anyone. It makes me feel different and not just another girl.

Maybe I’m lame, maybe I’m immature, but maybe I’m smart. Waiting is what’s best for me. It’s my body and I’m in control over what happens so what should me being a virgin have to do with anybody else?

Is it wrong that I would rather save myself for the right one? Is it wrong that I’m not super freaky? Is it wrong that I’m not ready to lose my virginity? Nope, it just makes me different.