There is an immense amount of faith required to believe in God. You have to be willing to believe that there is a higher power that has a plan for each and everyone of us. You have to be willing to believe that there is someone out there who loves, watches over, and protects you. And above all, you have to be willing to believe that even though you have never seen him, God exists.

You have to have a faith that I do not have.

When I was younger, my family and I used to go to church every single Sunday. My father is a very religious man, and he believed that in order to be closer to God, we had to go to church every week. I found going to church extremely boring. I was told to sit down, shut up, and behave. I tuned out the priest most of the time, but when I actually listened I learned a few things.

One of the things being was that God was all knowing. Another one was God was always there, for everyone who needed him. There was one thing that stuck with me the most.

God protects the good.

I guess I thought it was important that God protected good people, I thought they deserved it.

As I got older, I saw and heard about a lot of bad happening in the world. There were good people out there who deserved to be protected, but God was never there.

I didn’t understand why the single mother raising two children wasn’t protected when she got mugged and stabbed to death in the middle of the street. It made no sense when God didn’t protect that sweet little boy from getting bullied just because he was fat. I thought it was completely absurd that there was no one to protect that girl from herself when she hung herself from the ceiling. These were good people, why wasn’t God protecting them?

When I asked my father, he said, “God can’t be everywhere at once. He may not know there are people who need him.”

“But the priest said God was all-knowing, that he would always be there for the people that needed him.”

My father had no answer for me.

My beliefs have changed. To me, there is no God. I no longer believe that there is someone out there with plans for all of us, or who loves, watches over, and protects us. I no longer believe in someone I cannot see.

Please realize that this is my choice. I am in no way, shape, or form, trying to convince someone to change what they believe in. While many people may not agree with me, don’t try to convince me to change what I believe in. Many people have tried, but I’ve made up my mind.